On Self Worth & Self Undoing
Buh Bye Mars and Mercury!
“Lord, help me to accept my tools. However dull they are, help me to accept them. And, then, Lord, after I have accepted my tools, then help me to set out and do what I can with my tools.”
— MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
The Rational Bit
So, when I turned 49 last August, I had an inkling that it “might” be a challenging year considering I was going into a 2nd House (my money, food, values, early conditioning around being nourished, what is needed to move through the world with ease) year.
Not only is my 2nd House overlaid by the sign Scorpio, it contains the North Node (aka Rahu) — that shiny unlived “experience” that my soul had craved and was obsessed enough with to come back into a human body for to try to finally have. Okay, that’s already pretty much a level 10 challenge considering that the shadow planet represented by a head that can never find satisfaction because it isn’t connected to its body is in literally the house of money and food … no, my soul when it purchased the “vacation package” described by the birth chart I came into this world with decided then it wanted that Mars ruling the 2nd House to be in the complete opposite house on top of the South Node (aka Ketu) on the star Algol (aka the binary star associated with Medusa). Ketu “disappears” or more accurately “discharges” things by making them inaccessible unless you release the certainty of everything you know about the sign that its in and the way that any planets it touches works. Literally, money, food, what’s needed for ease gone in a black hole in the sign (Taurus) of money, food, and what’s needed for ease. Bonus challenge for my 49th year? Mars is also the lord of my 7th house, making it what’s called a “maraka” planet in jyotish techniques — the death dealer.
But wait! When I do an annual analysis, I also look at the house and planet activated from the chart’s sect light — because that shows you how will instinctively cope and deal with the external events catalyzed by the Lord of the Year from the ascendant (bear with me those of you who don’t care of these technicalities). It shows you who is the actor that’s being transformed is and how that transformation will empower you to shine that piece of the divine you came here to share.
Oh, Mercury … the Princeling … not only Mars’ enemy because of all his questions, FOMO, sense of humor, apparent lack of gravitas and wisdom by the natural scheme of planetary friendships and enmities (btw, Mercury is neutral to Mars — he’s that crazy incel who runs the army but who can be fascinating every once a once) but also to my delight (not) in an exact square to my natal Mars/Ketu, Lord of my activated 12th (of self undoing, sleep, hidden enemies, inspiration, connection with the divine) and secondarily 9th (of belief, ethics, gurus, mentors, places of pilgrimage, expertise, wisdom) AND this kid is on Regulus (the Kingmaker), the place of the throne.
You cannot make this shit up … but optimistic Leo me! I took a look at my solar return chart and was like — I mean, how bad can it be? The chart lord is that strong domiciled Leo Sun in the First House, the Moon is in its natal sign in the house of its joy applying to the Part of Fortune … okay, fine … Mars is busted AF in Gemini (the domain of his enemy Mercury) BUT look! He’s there with his buddy Jupiter — Jupiter makes things better (but okay he’s busted AF too) … yet, it might be okay, they’re reporting to an exalted Mercury in the second house (let’s just pretend he isn’t retrograde — because look he’s with his BFF Venus — who’s also busted AF) … oh, and that pesky South Node is right on top of my natal Moon/Pluto conjunction almost exactly. <le sigh> Look! It’s gonna be okay — Jupiter, even though he’s banged up, sees the Sun. GIRL. Girl. The copium.
This is what I do when I look at your charts before an annual:
What’s getting worked on?
What planet needs the most attention in your external life? What part of your external life needs to be experienced fully — the best of it and the worst?
What planet is the one that’s evolving — that’s learning to be better at enabling you to live in that liminal space between your corporeal existence and your divine being?
How are they playing the game for the year? What does this mean for the lens through which you should shift your point of view to burn through your ingrained patterns that keep you stuck (aka samskaras) in an identity or way of moving through your human vacation that you know isn’t you anymore?
